The Reality

I had my checkup doctor appointment at the Pain Center today along with a pre-screening appt for physical therapy. I guess I haven't written yet that after my evaluation a few weeks ago, they recommended a "FIT" class meaning Focused Interdisciplinary Treatment offered at their Pain Center. It is a 4-week program two days per week. Thankfully, my work is going to be flexible with my hours so I can make that program work. It has 3 components - 1 hour of relaxation training and biofeedback, 1 hour of physical therapy, and 1 hour of group education classes. I have to admit I am slightly apprehensive about the physical therapy helping since I've tried two "rounds" of it already, but I do also know different techniques may affect me differently and I'm hoping this time it really helps.

So on to today's appointment - in the physical therapy pre-screening, she had me move my body in different ways to help see any limitations and she also had me flex certain body parts and try to withstand her force trying to make it move. She determined that my hip flexor and upper back/shoulders are my weak areas that we can put more focus on during physical therapy sessions. She also confirmed tight muscles in various areas of my body.

After that appt, I met with the doctor. He has been in local magazines/articles about good doctors in this area and appears to be a well respected doctor in the pain management field. My appt was scheduled for 10 minutes with him which confirmed in my mind that he's a man in high demand! He was very nice and I wish I could've talked with him longer, but here are the main take aways from the conversation:

     He increased (doubled) the dose of my pain medication, Neurontin

     Switched me from Cymbalta to Savella (it's supposed to be cheaper...)

     Encouraged me to walk/do cardio 25 - 30 minutes 4-5 nights each week. (Ahhh!)

He said the two treatments for fibromyalgia that have been shown to help are exercise and pain medication and he thinks I'll really see results from exercising more since endorphins are released with good cardio and as a bonus, it can help build my muscles. Hopefully Nick will help me walk more, it's hard to add that (or anything really) into our nightly schedule with how tired I am at night, but we've got to make it work. He did also say that he looked through my records my family doctor sent over and with all of my X-rays and labs coming back normal, he does also believe I do have fibromyalgia.

I left the office feeling a bit down to be honest. I think it's just hard to soak up the reality that I have to take more medications and do more to try to reach my goal of being pain free. As you've seen from other posts about this, I know that everything will work out in the end and I know God has a plan for my life, but tonight the reality just hits harder again that I can't take a magic pill and make this all better. I was hoping (dreaming really...) he'd be able to offer a quick fix that would rid this pain forever, but the reality is that it's just not that easy. I'm going to have to work at this every day, even when my energy is low and my body aches, I'm going to have to pull myself up and do what I need to do to get better.

As hard as this is physically and emotionally for me, it's just as difficult for Nick to see me go through. Most nights, he comes home to his napping wife, and most mornings he wakes me and reminds me to turn on my heat pad because he knows it usually helps me before work. He helps me remember to take my medications at the end of the day, and gives me many back/neck massages each week.The past few weeks, he's made many trips to the pool with me because it helps give some relief to my shoulder muscles. He tirelessly cares for me, gets things done around here even when I'm not able to help much, and with no clear end in sight for this pain, it can wear on both of us. He remains a positive force, encouraging me that we'll get through this once day at a time. I am so incredibly thankful for him and his selfless love. I have the greatest family and friends I could've imagined - thank you for all of your continuous love and prayers!